Random ChatterBay

Tomorrow is my anthropology presentation; and I am dreading it. It was bad enough that I was interrupted by a cse course sir during my presentation because he could not get my speech; and it kind of dropped my confidence. And now I have to face another presentation and Allah know how much worse it could be. I have always hated anything speech related stuff. First it was my grade 5 speech competition  when I had major panic attack in front  of all students. Not to mention it was during those time when I was unaware of my deafness. I used to get teased for my  speech and way of my talking and I always used to wonder why. So once for all I decided to prove them wrong. That I can do speech well. But that challenge only made thing worse, not only I had panic attack but failed it. Even since I stayed out of long conversation, speech, debate etc. But when I came to know about my deafness, I finally started to come in term with it. My deafness was known since I was three; and at the same

Many people have been asking me on how I get to stay smiley all the time and what is the key to it. Some people also have been asking me whether I am hiding my sadness behind my smiley face. And some of them get surprised when I don't smile.  Bottom line is they are obsessed with the fact of smile. And I can see why it is that. Smile is considered the most priceless and precious emotion of all things; everything around you get better(including people mood) when you smile. And I believe that. It lift you up and other people. Smile is also one form of charity; it also could mean kindness. When you smile at people, you are showing friendliness and support. And some people need that. They need positive emotions and optimism.  But a smile will cost you if you are not genuine about it. If you put up fake smile or force yourself to smile; it become pricey instead of priceless. So what I am saying is, if you don't want to smile, it is okay. There is this notion with expressio

Ah, yesterday was my birthday!!! And how did it go? Well, for starter it was bit messy and all over the place. Since my elder sister is at her third home and the tradition surprise midnight celebration(not surprise actually) had to be planned by my mother and rest of my siblings by themselves.  And it went..............let say I had to  became actress for the night. :P Then my sister and brother in law( Congratulation to him for opening his own optic chamber!!!)  came over our house to celebrate my birthday. My sister asked me "what is your new resolution for his birthday"? I did not give any to her question. I just shrugged it off and continued my lunch.  For many years birthday was all about blowing candle and making wishes. but my views about birthday changed this year; I take it about reflection. On this day I ponder over what I did for the last year; what did I achieved and what aspect of my lives needed to improved. Each passing year we grow and there had to be a

I am no expert in parenting or their role.....and I am in no way judging anyone parenting styles. This blog post is purely from my observation and opinion. In psychology class, we were taught hat there are four kind of parenting styles.....but to put a styles into a category is too neat  From what I have noticed it is messy place anyone can be in their lives. hence every parenting styles is different. I have seen a lot,lot of shows that encourage a young  pregnant woman who is not ready or who does not have any financial stability to give up their children to adoption centre; and the message is as follow it is better for a child to grow up in a family who can give them better life(as in financial state)then to grow up in a place where a parent is not ready at all or who does not have financial stability. But my point is, how one could be so sure to decide that baby will grow up to be a good person if they live with a family with good financial stability?I have seen a lot lot of ch

I wish I could say that I am not blogging regularly because I am having busy time or something similar....but the truth is I am being lazy. I spent whole day just lurking around website and worrying  about midterm marks. But I know i should blog more posts. The thing is I have lost in word for blog posts. There are so many posts that I left unedited.......I should probably bring them out in open and respect the viewers more. And there is another I want to share....I have been thinking of starting something new and i made it my little project. I am not going to reveal it now......because I need to be sure whether I am going to be committed to my project or not. For now it is a trial pass. Lately, stories have been cooking up in my brain. I have been writing them during my leisure time. I had done that many years back; I used to write them just before I go to bed. If I don't put my stories into pen and paper, My mind never rest on it. But for a long time I have not been writin

Ramadan is finally here!!! It feel such a new spiritual journey every time Ramadan appear yearly. Unlike new year; which does not make me feel that I am starting on a new year note,   Ramadan  is different. It is time to re evaluate your spiritual state.  In fact  it is also time to make a  resolution  and  practice  them  throughout  the month. I can say this; if you  sincerely   practice  a  certain  resolution during this  Ramadan , it will be  effective  in future. For example if you wan to control your excessive sugar intake habit; this is for you. If you want to control your anger and  behavior ;this is for you. If you want to stop an obsession, this is for you. Just anything.  It is far better than making new year  resolutions  and doing nothing. Because there is saying in hadith  "Allah's Apostle (صلی الله علیہ وسلم) said, "When the month of Ramadan starts, the gates of heaven are opened and the gates of Hell are closed and the shaitaans are chained." Wh

Today post will be dedicated to Azad sir. Inna Lillahi Wa Inna Ilaihi Rajioon He was not just a teacher; but was a believer in me, and know about my potential more than myself. When I got 5 A* in o level; Everyone,except Azad, sir were surprised about it. But he were not surprised about it; in fact  he knew  it. He was like "I knew you would get it. It is no surprised at all"  The fact that he believed in me was one of driving motivation to score a top grade in O level. My only regret is that I disappointed him for my A level grade. When I first heard my A level grades, first thing that came to my mind “How I will face sir?” He really was looking forward to my A in math;but I did not get that. From that moment I avoided him fearing the disappointment look from him; which now I am regretting. Instead of avoiding I should have tell him How much I appreciated his faith in me; and how much that faith mean to me. If it were not for that I would have  almost given up

Lately I have been having hard time dealing with various things; with academic life. identity crisis, future, and people around me. Regarding academic part, the last semester was my worst one; with bad grades in every course and a pending final exam that I will have to appear in next semester and that too I might have to retake that course anyways. It was not easy decision for me to decide not to appear final exam of one of my course. At the time of my decision, a thought pretty much knocked me so hard; which is the realization that I am not the same person from 6 years back; a person who would do anything for her academic life; and who would make sure that she never failed to be prepared for every exam. I was pretty much devastated. Because I am already having identity crisis, and now this is adding to the pile. It felt like I am totally two different person; one who used to be so focus in studies and another is not so focus. I am not sure how to handle this one ; but a friend to

I am  hijabi, but it does not mean I am  always quiet and shy person. I am hijabi, but I laugh loud and clear.  I am hijabi, sole reason is to follow on Allah command. Not because of men or anyone told me so.  I am hijabi, but it does not mean I know each and every teaching of Allah. I am still learning in progress. So,dont be surprise when I dont know an answer to islamic question or stare me in horror when I do something wrong.  I am hijabi, but dont ask me what Allah is thinking or what does Allah think of this or that. I am not sheikh and nobody could tell what Allah is thinking right now.   I am hijabi , but it does not mean I dont get to make mistake. Like any other muslim, I am flawed one and I do make mistake. I am hijabi,it does not mean I cannot put on makeup. Like most girls, I LOVE putting on makeup. I am hijabi, but dont compare me with non-hijabi girl. Recently, a relative commented me that how pretty I looked at a party comparing me to a cousin who did not

When I was just in school age,I used to play this game with my neighbor friends and we called it " College,college"(lame game title, I know). And it was fun because we were  creating a short wishful version of our university.Funny how back in those time we wanted to grow up quickly. The game was just kind of making up scenario and playing a part in that We were walking like a proper lady would, carrying bunch of universities books. My friend part was, that she get bumped into a handsome guy, and thus her book would  fall down and both reach to pick up the fallen books and while doing so, they share a *first love*  eye lock. :P My scenario was----, I was standing on automatic rolling carrier( just like in that cartoon, The Jetsons, where the main man was going to office by those carrier thing), and the path was from dorm to big  university campus. I was heading to this imaginary amazing big library where I borrow all those huge books and flash those "made up" m

It is cute,right? Yeah, that why it was hard to eat them,but was really delicious; cuteness did help that deliciousness. Haha. I was reminiscing to my sister about ginger biscuit. My dad used to buy box of ginger biscuits. Everyone in my family dislike it. Lucky for me, I loved them. But the last time I had that was during class one or two. All the time I did not know the flavor was ginger; I though it was just cookies. It was recent that I realized it was actually ginger biscuit.  But my sister thought I meant gingerbread, hehe. But I did not correct her because it was so sweet of her to search for it and bought one for me. ^_^  This act of her really made me smile. :)  Come to think of it, it is  first time I have eaten a gingerbread!! Having it remind me of all those cartoon where the "mother" character baked whole bunch of gingerbread and bring them out of oven; and that gingerbread trying to escape from human children monster. Only if this gingerbread w

Stress. It can bring out a lot of things from you. Even the hidden part of you. As for me, it switch on   "shopaholic" mode. Look at below to see what I have done. Lately I have been dealing with lot of pressure as a student; and guilt of not doing good enough in midterm and final. Next year is already catching up and I am now where in position of achievement. And it frustrating to feel that way. Hopefully along the way, I get to suck it up and stop having those thinking, which will only  pull me down. *SIGH* Anyways, my shopaholic products!! From Foring store. And I know there is iron beside this. LOL! From Laamia store. I LOVE the design. Though my sister call this dress a "sailor" dress. :S Ring!!<3 Wanted to have this for a long time!! Ah! My favourite part of being shopaholic!! I get to buy a set of this ornaments!! Hijabi Pin!!! Floral in velvet from "Veiled Glamour" !! But as the whole fair, it was disappionting

Whenever I meet new people or visit to relatives the most common questions asked  are "How do you like Bangladesh? Which country you prefer to live---Saudi Arabia or Bangladesh? Do you miss the place where you grew up? It never end My answer would always be "Both" or " Food is great in saudi" (this part is true though) or "It is hot in Bangladesh! No AC!!" As few years passes by(it has been over two years!!  it is astonishing how time flies~~) I had time to think about it. Then I realized my answers above was only because I did not knew the answer myself and said it what other people did. Basically those answer were repeated by people before me so I said the same. Now that I lived here I got my thought on living away from the place bit arranged; but it is not clear to me yet. I came to Saudi Arabia when I was around four years old;it was on the year 1995 I think.I don't exactly remember the moment I step on the place; but I remember vaguely

It took a game to kick my blogging mode in. And I am devastated. It has been too long time ago when I was chanting "Mashrafee Bin Mortaza Man of the match"  while watching an ICC world cup, and holding my biology O level book. And that was the last time I felt adrenaline rushing to my body......till today. Anamul----100. Shakib---44 runs of 16 balls. Yeah, I was gluing my face to the screen whole time. And seeing those pretty numbers, felt such a pride. I never felt that proud. Alas it got shattered in a day.  I am just heartbroken. The moment Abdul Rehman got out, unlike the cheering of the public, I stared at them in horror. I was screaming in my head "Shit, Afridi turn !" And after that, all of those glory I had, soon got crushed by each of  his each six's, four's and a miss catch by captain. I dont usually watch cricket; but whenever Bangladesh vs other team match, patriotic feeling kicked in. And I could not help it. And out of all day, I decided t

Happy New Year!!! If there is one thing that I could say about 2013 it would be this:  it had not been nice to me. And that make  difficult for me to make  resolutions for 2014.  There was some days that were pleasant and happy;but most of the days were dull,unpleasant and depressing for me. Current country situation is not helping either. On the bright side ; there was couple of good moments. I made few good friends. I learned not to over think about stuffs. But then the thinking part is more of wanting answer to certain things about myself. I think it is called "soul searching".  There was this anime I watched called "Honey and Clover" , where the main guy is confused about his own self. What does he want? What he want to do?.  Not knowing what to do and what your strength play at is lot more harder than you think. About my resolutions this time I wont make any. Because every time I make resolutions, most of them end up either lost or go unfulfilled, and whe