Presentation: Panic Attack Nightmare!
Tomorrow is my anthropology presentation; and I am dreading it. It was bad enough that I was interrupted by a cse course sir during my presentation because he could not get my speech; and it kind of dropped my confidence. And now I have to face another presentation and Allah know how much worse it could be.
I have always hated anything speech related stuff. First it was my grade 5 speech competition when I had major panic attack in front of all students. Not to mention it was during those time when I was unaware of my deafness. I used to get teased for my speech and way of my talking and I always used to wonder why. So once for all I decided to prove them wrong. That I can do speech well. But that challenge only made thing worse, not only I had panic attack but failed it. Even since I stayed out of long conversation, speech, debate etc.
But when I came to know about my deafness, I finally started to come in term with it. My deafness was known since I was three; and at the same age I developed my speech. I acknowledged my "deaf accent" and that no matter how much I try it wont be without flaws. I accepted it and no longer let it get best of me. And my speech not longer bother me. Because I stopped caring about what other people think of me.
But that does not change the fact I had to deal with more presentations in in university; it is not that I am afraid of my " deaf accent"; but it is this panic attack. Though over the years the episodic of panic attack decreased, it always come back whenever I had to face crowds. whenever I see mass of people staring at me; that fear of failing myself again and I start to get these awful feeling in my stomach and I feel weak. I hated that. It is this panic attack that I am afraid of;not the speech. I just hate it.
That why I am dreading tomorrow. Honestly,I am not type of person that talk about my problems to people. But I learned that panic attack is not something one need to be ashamed of or feel embarrassed about. [Whenever I talked about it to anyone, the most common reply from people are " I know you are strong; hence be strong next time". I dont get it. I mean it is like having panic attack is just a weakness. It is actually more than that. One cannot overcome it just being strong. It need time and patience to overcome.
But I decide to do what I always did to deal with it; switched off my hearing aids and imagine the audience as bunch of watermelon and go with it. It has works couple of time during my university life. And I got better at presenting by doing this trick and finger crossed it work this time too.
Okay wish me Best of Luck!!! And keep me in your prayer because I need it!
I have always hated anything speech related stuff. First it was my grade 5 speech competition when I had major panic attack in front of all students. Not to mention it was during those time when I was unaware of my deafness. I used to get teased for my speech and way of my talking and I always used to wonder why. So once for all I decided to prove them wrong. That I can do speech well. But that challenge only made thing worse, not only I had panic attack but failed it. Even since I stayed out of long conversation, speech, debate etc.
But when I came to know about my deafness, I finally started to come in term with it. My deafness was known since I was three; and at the same age I developed my speech. I acknowledged my "deaf accent" and that no matter how much I try it wont be without flaws. I accepted it and no longer let it get best of me. And my speech not longer bother me. Because I stopped caring about what other people think of me.
But that does not change the fact I had to deal with more presentations in in university; it is not that I am afraid of my " deaf accent"; but it is this panic attack. Though over the years the episodic of panic attack decreased, it always come back whenever I had to face crowds. whenever I see mass of people staring at me; that fear of failing myself again and I start to get these awful feeling in my stomach and I feel weak. I hated that. It is this panic attack that I am afraid of;not the speech. I just hate it.
That why I am dreading tomorrow. Honestly,I am not type of person that talk about my problems to people. But I learned that panic attack is not something one need to be ashamed of or feel embarrassed about. [Whenever I talked about it to anyone, the most common reply from people are " I know you are strong; hence be strong next time". I dont get it. I mean it is like having panic attack is just a weakness. It is actually more than that. One cannot overcome it just being strong. It need time and patience to overcome.
But I decide to do what I always did to deal with it; switched off my hearing aids and imagine the audience as bunch of watermelon and go with it. It has works couple of time during my university life. And I got better at presenting by doing this trick and finger crossed it work this time too.
Okay wish me Best of Luck!!! And keep me in your prayer because I need it!
Best of luck..just breath.,
ReplyDeleteThank You! :)
DeleteAnd you nailed it! :D oh yeah!
ReplyDelete:D Finally that day got over. " Whewwww"
Delete"imagine the audience as bunch of watermelon and go with it" THIS made me laugh so hard! :D
ReplyDeleteHowever, I never had the idea that you get panic attacks too, until you told me about it. Because, in ENG101 course, you were one of the best presenters! Just deal with it the way you did at that time. And please teach me how to! You know how I get panic attacks too. -__-
And about your accent, it's completely fine. No worries!