How to communicate with me! #DeafVersion
I don't know what it is with people around me, they seem to be either afraid of talking with me or avoid me altogether. It is not with stranger only;but also with families including relatives, parents etc..
Since I was kid, people has been doing this to me making me feel kinda alien. At some point, I was relating with alien in the movie more than human, *chuckle*.(And the alien are villain in the movie(
-_-).
But I am starting to understand it bit why people behave with me like that. I think it is that I am deaf, people get lost on how communicate with me despite seeing me talking with my friends numerous time. It is like, even If I am talking with people, they turn for my deaf accent, I think. Which is sad, because people in this world seem to be judging intelligence of one's based on accent. One of most popular example is how some people in Asian countries seem to laugh at their English accent. English is English,period!!!
I realized it first time at when i was grade 7 or 8; I was talking with my friend, that friend's best friend(Let name her Maria; I wont disclose her name) came over our table and was pulling away her whispering to her "why do you talk with her? No one is supposed to talk with her" My friend replied holding my arm telling her best friend " No! Cannot you, clearly, see I talk with my good friend??" Maria was taken aback with realization. She then face me and wrote on table " I am sorry! For so long I was avoiding you because I dont know how to talk with you." I was really annoyed. I mean everyone can see I communicate with other people, yet in her mind I am some dumb girl who cannot be approach. I forgot soon after because I thought it is just school,right? Student will have their mature mind when they grow up,right?
But NOPE. Some people continue being stupid I guess. It again happened in my third year of university. A guy knocked me on facebook and was like " I am in same class of yours and also used to study in Saudi Arabia and in same school" When I asked him as to why he did not approach me in class he replied with similar answer as above" Dont mind, but I actually dont know how to talk with people like you" I was like " Did not you see me talking with my friends?" I got so pissed off at him I never chatted with him after that.
That is why I want to make this post so that people who are unable to figure out a simplest thing to communicate with deaf people or who are unable to Google about deafness and how to communicate with them. Beware this is going to be LONG POST! If you are not interested in reading from this point, BACK OFF and close this page. If you want, then go ahead and you can take break in between!
(NOTE: If you are one of those people who used to be my friend for sometime and suddenly avoiding me for no reason or not you think I am uncool,weird or boring and dont want to be associating with me in public, I dont want you to read from here onward. Because I dont want to communicate with you ever again)
Here I start!
1)Face me when you are talking; so that I can see your face and lip. I can lipread and this skill along with facial expression is what help me. Don't feel awkward or weird if I keep staring at your face without blinking, because I am trying to understand and reading your expression.
2) Don't over enunciated words to me. Meaning, don't elaborate the words in slow motion like "IIINNNNTEEERRNEET; because by the time you are over-enuciating another word of sentence, I lost the track of the other words of the sentence. And also you really look stupid. You just had to talk in your ways, just not too fast, not too slow. Just face me and be normal.
3)Sometime, scratch that, most of the time I might not get some particular line. In that time, I may ask you to repeat again. When I do that, don't not respond back with " Acha, thak", "Baad Dao" " whatever, not important ". It is so frustrating when anyone do that. And also you are being disrespectful to me. You can simply write the line in a paper or anywhere. If you cannot write English, you can write in bangla I can read them perfectly.
4) If you don't want to waste time on repeating your line( which is lazy reason anyone could say, sadly most people use that stupid reason) use paper and pen. They are everywhere. If not, use your smart phone/ mobile to type. By now most of the hand are stuck with some technology 24 hrs. If you genuinely want to communicate with me, keep paper, pen etc, handy.
5)If you want to contact me, like when I am not around you and you don't know how to reach me because you think calling me wont work because I could not hear you, Simple solution. TEXT ME!!! Or email me. I constantly check them. I even check spam folder or others in Facebook etc. Because I know there is some people who might not even have my number and I don't have them in my email list it goes to other folder. I check them all the time; even set them on alert notification.
5) When I am at a distance from you and my back in facing you, and you want my attetion kindly tap my back. And yes, anyone can do that, both male and female. I am emphasizing that because my male friend often tell me the reason that they don't tap my shoulder because I would feel offended of being touched by them. That's why I am being clear, I know difference between inappropriate touch and tapping my shoulder. You don't have to worry about that.
6) When do I feel offended?? When some one shoot pen or small stone or things at my back for attention. I am not some animal at a zoo. Just drag your lazy feet toward me andface me or tap my shoulder
7) Last of all, sign language,DUH!
This is some of the basic ways of communicating with me and other deaf people. Hopefully some of you understand this. If you have anymore queries, feel free to ask me anything, even if you think the question is silly. I will gladly answer to all of your questions.
Since I was kid, people has been doing this to me making me feel kinda alien. At some point, I was relating with alien in the movie more than human, *chuckle*.(And the alien are villain in the movie(
-_-).
But I am starting to understand it bit why people behave with me like that. I think it is that I am deaf, people get lost on how communicate with me despite seeing me talking with my friends numerous time. It is like, even If I am talking with people, they turn for my deaf accent, I think. Which is sad, because people in this world seem to be judging intelligence of one's based on accent. One of most popular example is how some people in Asian countries seem to laugh at their English accent. English is English,period!!!
I realized it first time at when i was grade 7 or 8; I was talking with my friend, that friend's best friend(Let name her Maria; I wont disclose her name) came over our table and was pulling away her whispering to her "why do you talk with her? No one is supposed to talk with her" My friend replied holding my arm telling her best friend " No! Cannot you, clearly, see I talk with my good friend??" Maria was taken aback with realization. She then face me and wrote on table " I am sorry! For so long I was avoiding you because I dont know how to talk with you." I was really annoyed. I mean everyone can see I communicate with other people, yet in her mind I am some dumb girl who cannot be approach. I forgot soon after because I thought it is just school,right? Student will have their mature mind when they grow up,right?
But NOPE. Some people continue being stupid I guess. It again happened in my third year of university. A guy knocked me on facebook and was like " I am in same class of yours and also used to study in Saudi Arabia and in same school" When I asked him as to why he did not approach me in class he replied with similar answer as above" Dont mind, but I actually dont know how to talk with people like you" I was like " Did not you see me talking with my friends?" I got so pissed off at him I never chatted with him after that.
That is why I want to make this post so that people who are unable to figure out a simplest thing to communicate with deaf people or who are unable to Google about deafness and how to communicate with them. Beware this is going to be LONG POST! If you are not interested in reading from this point, BACK OFF and close this page. If you want, then go ahead and you can take break in between!
(NOTE: If you are one of those people who used to be my friend for sometime and suddenly avoiding me for no reason or not you think I am uncool,weird or boring and dont want to be associating with me in public, I dont want you to read from here onward. Because I dont want to communicate with you ever again)
Here I start!
1)Face me when you are talking; so that I can see your face and lip. I can lipread and this skill along with facial expression is what help me. Don't feel awkward or weird if I keep staring at your face without blinking, because I am trying to understand and reading your expression.
2) Don't over enunciated words to me. Meaning, don't elaborate the words in slow motion like "IIINNNNTEEERRNEET; because by the time you are over-enuciating another word of sentence, I lost the track of the other words of the sentence. And also you really look stupid. You just had to talk in your ways, just not too fast, not too slow. Just face me and be normal.
3)Sometime, scratch that, most of the time I might not get some particular line. In that time, I may ask you to repeat again. When I do that, don't not respond back with " Acha, thak", "Baad Dao" " whatever, not important ". It is so frustrating when anyone do that. And also you are being disrespectful to me. You can simply write the line in a paper or anywhere. If you cannot write English, you can write in bangla I can read them perfectly.
4) If you don't want to waste time on repeating your line( which is lazy reason anyone could say, sadly most people use that stupid reason) use paper and pen. They are everywhere. If not, use your smart phone/ mobile to type. By now most of the hand are stuck with some technology 24 hrs. If you genuinely want to communicate with me, keep paper, pen etc, handy.
5)If you want to contact me, like when I am not around you and you don't know how to reach me because you think calling me wont work because I could not hear you, Simple solution. TEXT ME!!! Or email me. I constantly check them. I even check spam folder or others in Facebook etc. Because I know there is some people who might not even have my number and I don't have them in my email list it goes to other folder. I check them all the time; even set them on alert notification.
5) When I am at a distance from you and my back in facing you, and you want my attetion kindly tap my back. And yes, anyone can do that, both male and female. I am emphasizing that because my male friend often tell me the reason that they don't tap my shoulder because I would feel offended of being touched by them. That's why I am being clear, I know difference between inappropriate touch and tapping my shoulder. You don't have to worry about that.
6) When do I feel offended?? When some one shoot pen or small stone or things at my back for attention. I am not some animal at a zoo. Just drag your lazy feet toward me andface me or tap my shoulder
7) Last of all, sign language,DUH!
This is some of the basic ways of communicating with me and other deaf people. Hopefully some of you understand this. If you have anymore queries, feel free to ask me anything, even if you think the question is silly. I will gladly answer to all of your questions.
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